To give or not to give, that is the question.

When I lived in NYC, I noticed a "trend" on the subway. Whenever someone would panhandle, it was always those who looked like they didn't have much who gave something. I never once witnessed a Wall Street type give anything other than a look.

Years ago, during a visit to Chicago, I was stopped by a man asking for money outside of a Starbucks. I said I'd be happy to buy him a drink, he insisted on the money. My terms were drink or nothing. My thoughts followed the track of, I'm not supporting your alcohol or drug problem. I ended up buying him an orange juice and gave it to him, meanwhile he was still cursing me out for not giving him money.

You always hear of people who are truly in need and you also hear of those who are running scams. I've heard stories of people pretending to have cancer and collecting donations or people standing on the road with a sign  who didn't need the money for necessities. There are organizations who collect donations yet very little of that money actually sees its way to the cause or people you're donating to. Who should we give to? When it comes to the organizations - do some research (i.e. http://www.charitynavigator.org). When it comes to individual people - follow your gut.

My theory about the subway riders is that those who have "been there," those who know what it's like to struggle, and perhaps have had to ask others for help, are more sympathetic to the panhandlers and are more willing to be compassionate and give. In all fairness, this is a sweeping generalization. Not all Wall Street types don't give to others in need and not all those who have "been there" do.

As for the man outside Starbucks - it's none of my business how he uses the money. I have the choice - gift him money, offer to buy him something or do nothing. He has the choice as what to do with the money. Gifting shouldn't come with conditions. It's about following your gut and your heart. If you feel drawn to gift - then do. 

I saw an interesting video recently where a man dressed up as a street person and anyone who gave him some money, he gave them the money back plus $20. He wanted to reward the givers. I've included this video below as well as the extras video. They both speak volumes.

Gift when your heart leads you to. It doesn't have to be money - a smile, a compliment, a hug or recognizing someone's existence can do so much. Gifting you virtual hugs - Adrienne :)