How a missed spelling bee word turned out to be the anti-theme of my life

It was the late 1980’s and there I was participating in the citywide spelling bee. As a middle school student, I remember how nervous and uncomfortable I felt under the stage lights. Never mind the gymnasium full of chairs seated with family and friends of the contestants. We wore numbers and when it was our turn, we’d go up and receive the word that would determine if we were moving on to the next round or dejectedly leaving the stage. I remember the words were somewhat easy in the beginning - like a free pass or warm up. As more and more of my fellow participants were buzzed out and left the stage, I anticipated what my next word would be. I had been doing pretty well thus far. 

Up to the mic went my nemesis. He was from my old school. We were always competing with each other for the best grades. I constantly felt like I had to prove myself, especially since I was “just a girl.” Needless to say, we didn’t get along all that well. I could see his back as he stood in front of the microphone. I heard the announcer give him his word. Quickly and confidently he spelled out l-i-b-a-r-y. The buzzer sounded. He’d forgotten the first "r." It was now down to just a handful of us. 

I’d always enjoyed spelling and always did well on my tests. It was fun for me to get a 100%, an A, or A+ if there were bonus words, and the sticker. Receiving a sticker was the absolute best. I was an avid reader, so I had a decent vocabulary. I knew the basic spelling rules - i before e except after c (except when it isn’t). I remember we had practice bees and there were lists to study. It was pretty much a role of the die as to which words you would get. I really wondered, what would fate have in store for me that night?

After what seemed like an eternity, my number was once again called. Back up I went to the microphone. The gym was quiet. The announcer gave me my word. I asked him to repeat it. Then, I panicked. I’d never heard of this word before in my entire life. Each time he said the word, it sounded like a different pronunciation. I can’t remember if I asked for the definition, but it wouldn’t have mattered much. It seemed like there were at least 5 different ways this word could possibly be spelled. Could it be m-o-n-o-c-t-n-o-u-s? Or was it m-o-n-o-c-t-e-n-o-u-s? Maybe m-o-n-a-c-h-n-o-u-s? Then there’s m-o-n-a-t-e-n-u-s or would that be m-o-n-a-t-e-n-o-u-s? To this day, I have no idea what I spelled out, but the buzzer let me know that it was not correct. I was baffled. Jeez, my word was so hard! I left the stage feeling deflated, even though I should’ve felt proud that I was one of the last few standing. 

Monotonous - dull, tedious, and repetitious; lacking in variety and interest. As in boring, banal, mundane, and mind-numbing. The polar opposite of varied, diversified, exciting, and interesting. Monotonous was the word I misspelled and then stored in the back of my memory. It wasn’t until a few decades later that I really thought about the word that cost me the spelling bee. It was then that I realized just how important that word actually is for me. You see, how I’ve chosen to live my life is the exact opposite of monotony. I’m constantly trying new things, learning things that are outside of my comfort zone (hello tech), and living in other cultures and places because I love diversity and stretching myself through new experiences. What I detest the most is feeling bored. In fact, it’s rare that I ever even feel that way. If I start to feel bored with some aspect of my life, I know it’s time for some change. I can’t stand it when everything is the same and there’s little to no excitement. Life has so much to offer that there is no time for monotony. 

As I look over my life thus far, I can identify different themes that have come up, such as my infamous spelling word. I see them almost like bread crumbs that have helped lead me closer to my true self. I now joke that even if I had known the spelling of monotonous, it’s so against my nature that my subconscious would’ve had me misspell it anyway.  I can just imagine it: I step up to the mic, I hear the word "monotony" and then I spell it m-o-N-O-T-in-me  ;)

​Heart hugs, Adrienne :)