Grudges and Forgiveness

When you feel that someone wrongs you, what do you do? Do you work through it and let it go? Or, do you carry it in your memory bank where it pops up every time you think of the person or encounter a similar situation? When you do think of said person or issue, how do you feel? Are you feeling some anger start up? Is your chest getting tight from anxiety? Did a frown just cross your face? We can remember people "doing us wrong" from childhood even. How is it possible that we still allow what someone did or said to affect us all these years later? The irony is, they probably don't remember ever having said or done what still lives so vividly inside our own mind. We may still be suffering, but odds are - their daily life is not at all affected - not even a little bit. 

“Forgiveness is unlocking the door to set someone free 
and realizing you were the prisoner!” 
                                                                                         - Max Lucado

If you are someone who holds a grudge, and you think it's time to let it go so it stops affecting you, here's a little exercise that might help. Journaling is a great way to reflect and answer the following questions:

• What happened? 
  
• How did it make you feel?
  
• How do you still feel about it now?
  
• Why do you feel that way?  (The key here is to keep asking yourself 'why?' after every answer until you actually get to the bottom of it. Often, the first thought we have that we think is the answer, isn't the real reason.) 
  
• Do you choose to allow this feeling that you are holding to continue to eat away at you?
  
• What comes to mind that will allow you to forgive the person/situation so that you can set yourself free? (There are many ways to help you let go of this energy - Emotion Code release, EFT, burn this journal entry as a symbol of letting it go, etc.)
  

When we hold grudges, we're the ones who suffer - not the people we associate our grudges with. Acknowledge how you feel, but figure out the real reason why you feel that way. Then, let it go - releasing yourself from your own prison.    -Adrienne :)