Aging Can Take A Different Direction

She was wearing a white hat similar to mine. I held the door open for her as we both exited the store. We started conversing. She even asked if I had a moment to chat as we were talking. I marveled at that. She told me she’s almost 91, her husband is 85, and their kids are in their 60’s. She used to work in a factory and loves to line dance. This woman was very vibrant - spunky. She said that she keeps moving and that she can’t understand why their sons think they have to care for her since she’s mobile and can drive just fine. She talked about how her husband watches the 6:30 news and that it’s so depressing since there’s nothing they can do about it. She asked me my name and told me that hers is Velma - “a real old school name.” The only Velma I’d ever come across was the one in Scooby Doo. I LOVED meeting her. Our little exchange of several minutes brightened and set the tone for the rest of my day. It reminded me of how very precious face-to-face human connection is. She did not look her age, nor did she act it if you follow the ridiculous presumptions that society tends to hold of its elders. 

Aging is a natural part of the human experience. When we’re younger, we can’t even imagine that we’ll ever get old. As we age, we tend to look for ways to slow that process down. Think of the multibillion dollar beauty industry. We even go as far as saying things like, "50 is the new 30." Sadly, our society (at least in the U.S.) lacks the care and respect for our most senior members. It almost seems like once you reach a certain decade, you’re written off. How sad is that? Our elders hold a lifetime of experiences and wisdom which is mostly lost on our younger generations. 

Even though our bodies do age, I think there’s a part of us that will always be a kid at heart. I remember when my Grandpa was passing in his early 90’s. He told me that he still felt like a young man on the inside, but that his body just couldn’t keep up with him. His wife is nearing 99 years of age at the moment. She amazes me in that she once again found a zest for life. She went from solely consuming Ensure to eating several meals a day - on her own. She also insisted on changing the color of her wardrobe to brighter colors. Every time I see her, she has her pretty pink lipstick on.

I have been very fortunate to meet some of the most amazing role models of what “old age” can be like. I have a dear friend, Ruth, who was my yoga teacher. She was teaching yoga in her 70’s. She is now 100. She still walks on her own, though sometimes with the help of a walker. She lives in her own apartment in a retirement community. She’ll cook meals for herself. She goes grocery shopping. She swears that all of those years of yoga kept her in great shape for reaching a century. I was also graced to meet Harriotte, a busy practicing psychotherapist who would head to PIlates each week and walk her dog daily. When she retired about two years after I met her, she was in her early 90's. I have also met women who have started new careers much later in life and are absolutely flourishing. 

Aging doesn’t have to be the end-all. It also doesn’t have to be a battle. From what I’ve observed - staying active, having a good mindset, treating your body well, and finding the daily joys and your zest for life can bring about better longevity. Life isn’t over once you retire. It’s a whole new chapter. Aging most definitely does not need to equal invisible, useless, or irrelevant. It is high time we honor our elders and honor ourselves as we age. Every single day is precious and every single soul is precious. Our time on this planet, no matter how long or short, is valuable. If we want to live our life to the fullest, I think Velma hit the nail on the head, “just keep moving.”

​Heart hugs, Adrienne :)