3 Things to Keep in Mind While on Your Pursuit of Happiness

There was a time in my life when feeling happy was physically painful. It actually became one of the major catalysts for my transformational growth journey. I decided there had to be more to life than the comfort of misery. By that point, I wasn’t even sure what it meant to feel happy. I’d done all the things that were supposed to make me happy, yet all I felt was emptiness.  If I did feel happy, it was pretty short-lived. I’d achieved what I was told would bring me happiness, so why wasn’t I happy? It became my mission to figure it out. In this post, I’m going to share with you three key points I’ve learned over the years that have helped me understand what brings about real happiness. 

1. Projecting happiness into the future keeps it there. Do you ever catch yourself thinking or saying, I will be happy when…

I get a promotion
I meet the love of my life
I pass the exam
I make a ton of money
I get the new car
I win the lottery
I make it to the weekend
(Insert yours here)

So, if you don’t get those things, will you not be happy? Or what if you do get them and the happiness is short-lived? Will you be happier when you get an even nicer car, a better promotion, or a new love? Will you put off your happiness while waiting on external things to happen or fall into place? By projecting your happiness into the future, you’re robbing yourself of the joy you could be living now. 

2. Happiness isn’t about the externals - it’s about what lights you up on the inside. If you believe that something will bring you happiness, you need to ask yourself if it's to make your heart or your ego happy. Real happiness is not about appeasing the ego.  Would you rather have a sense of  happiness that is quick-lived or joy that lingers in your heart? Happiness is the small and big delights in the day to day. For me, it’s

• the joy of tossing a balloon with my niece as she laughs with glee
• walking in the warm sun with a cool breeze at the end of October while taking in the colors of the leaves
• eating something delicious that was made with love
• traveling - which brings me a sense of freedom and adventure that my soul yearns for
• being out in Nature where I feel relaxed and can quiet my mind to be present

How about you? What are the small and big pleasures that bring your heart and soul joy?

"Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy." - Guillaume Apollinaire

3.  Instead of waiting for happiness to make its way to you, or you to it, incorporate it into your daily life. Find those simple joys that light up your heart, that bring a smile to your face. We often look at happiness as if it’s some goal we must reach, when in reality it’s our birthright that we can experience on a daily basis.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that to feel real happiness, it has to resonate with your soul.  Take some time to reflect on what brings your soul joy. The exercise below is quite helpful as you navigate the pursuit of your own happiness.

Exercise:

1. Draw a line down the middle of a piece of paper.
2. On the left side write: I’ll feel happy when (future event…) and list out those things.
3. On the right side write: I feel moments of happiness/joy when… and list out those things.
4. Looking at the left side of your list, ask yourself why you feel they will bring you happiness. Also, take note if it's a happiness that is geared for your ego or your heart.
5. As for the right hand column, incorporate more of that into your life.

Sending you a heart hug, Adrienne :)