Usually, our worst critic is ourself. We are the hardest on ourselves. It may not start out that way, but over time we tend to become our own worst enemy. It is now time to be our own very best friend. It is time to F.L.Y. - First Love Yourself. Some people believe that this is egoistic. The truth is, it's the BEST thing you can do for yourself. The trick is to love yourself from your heart.
Whenever you have a negative thought about yourself - change it to a positive one. If you're having trouble believing it, change it to a question. For example - you are unlovable -> I am lovable (but, I really don't believe this) -> Why am I so lovable? (this is a rhetorical question). When you state it as a question, it activates your brain who says, "wait a minute, this isn't our usual belief, but it must be now so I'd better adjust." Putting your affirmation in the form of a question is called an afformation. For more information about this, look up Noah St. John, afformations.
Or, if someone says something negative to you - ask yourself if it's true and see if it resonates. It's very important not to listen to the ego mind, but to the heart. If someone says you're stupid. Ask yourself, "Am I stupid?" Does it feel right? Does it feel true? Does this answer bring you peace? If not, then change it to a positive, such as "I am intelligent." Most often, when someone puts you down they're either reflecting a part of you that needs your attention (maybe you call yourself stupid a lot) or they have issues and it's not even about you. In either case - do some inner reflection and LOVE yourself.
Tip: Be your own best friend and LOVE yourself. It's time to F.L.Y.
No matter how hard we try, we can't always control what life throws at us. What we can control is how we react. Sometimes our emotions get the best of us, other times we react from stress. Most times we react based on past experiences. Some will say, well I inherited my snap anger from my dad or my frustration comes naturally - I'm just like my grandmother. It is true that you may be more prone to these feelings as they can be passed down through the DNA, but you have the choice to act on them or not.
When faced with a situation that causes you to react - catch yourself. Ask yourself, "Do I choose to react this way or do I choose a different way?" Catching yourself is the first step. Even if you react without catching yourself beforehand - ask yourself, "If I would be in this same situation again, how do I prefer I react?" You can start with the little things - like feeling annoyed waiting in line at the post office. This does not mean that you should swallow your anger or bury your frustration. Take a deep breath, acknowledge how you feel and then exhale out the anger/frustration/etc energy giving gratitude that it is transmuted.
Tip: The only thing we can control in life is how we react - it just takes practice. When you are faced with something - pause for a moment, take a deep breath and exhale it out, then consciously choose the reaction that is in your highest good and the highest good of those involved.
Some of the best advice I've been given is: "It's none of your business what other people think of you. It only matters what you think of you. So, focus on you." Ask yourself, and be honest, how much do you let what others think of you affect you? As human beings we all want to feel accepted, loved and appreciated, but we focus on receiving those feelings from other people when we need to feel these things from ourselves. If you seek acceptance, do you accept yourself? If you seek love, do you love yourself? And so on. It comes from within.
And vice versa. As human beings, we are VERY judgmental. As it's none of our business what others think of us, it's none of our business how we perceive others. Before you decide to declare your judgement or opinion ask: "Is it in everyone's highest good if I say this?" If it is not - EXHALE it out giving gratitude that the 'negative' energy is transmuted. If we all would just focus the bulk of our attention on ourselves, loving ourselves in a non-egoic way, this world would be an entirely different place.
Tip: Focus your energy on what you think of yourself and not on what others do or don't think of you. If you don't think highly of yourself, you have some work to do. If you think too highly of yourself (from an ego standpoint) you have some work to do. Try not to judge others and if you find yourself doing it anyway - EXHALE it out!
Have you heard of Dr. Masaru Emoto and his studies of water crystals? He has proven that water is affected by vibrational energy. Basically, when water is exposed to prayer, positive (high vibrational) words or classical music, the water crystals show beautiful shapes. When exposed to negative (low vibrational) words or heavy metal music, the water looks like sludge. I suggest taking the next 3 minutes to watch the video (below) for a visual idea.
Isn't it amazing how water can be affected by vibration? Taking that into consideration, how much of the human body is made up of water? Answer: 60% is the average amount of water that makes up our body. Think about how many negative thoughts you have about others and especially about yourself. Think about how it feels when people act negatively towards you and the emotions that are stirred up in you. How often do you listen to low vibrational music? How often do you feel hatred, anger, or call yourself stupid? If we think or feel or are confronted with negative thoughts and emotions - how does that affect our bodies? Seeing Dr. Emoto's work with the water crystals left me stunned when I made the correlation.
So, how can we counteract this damage? One way is to use and feel high vibrational words, thoughts and feelings. If someone says you're fat, stupid, etc, tell yourself "No, I'm wonderful. I love myself" and then give yourself a hug. If you're being hard on yourself, lighten up. Give yourself a break and do something that allows you to feel happy. If you feel negative emotions, consciously choose to feel positive ones. Change the negativity to positivity even if you don't believe it at first. It's your choice - do you choose to be full of sludge or gorgeous crystals?
Tip: Be very aware of what you think, say and feel. If it's negative - change it to a positive. Try to catch yourself at least once each day. With practice, it gets easier. You body is so much happier and life is so much nicer without all of the negativity.
Hello! I'm Adrienne Almamour, an empathic intuitive conduit. I assist people by detecting and clearing their subconscious emotional energy blockages. This blog is a commentary and reflection of life from an intuitive standpoint which also incorporates ways that allow us to be from our heart.