Last week I shared a bit about my growth since I moved to Sedona. This week's post is a continuation.
Please note: Victim mentality is different from being an actual victim of assault, abuse, etc. Victim mentality is when you are constantly blaming whatever or whomever outside of yourself for your circumstances.
You know how they say "go with the flow of life?" Once I was complaining about all of my hardships in Sedona when my mom said something along the lines of "we each drive our own ship." This all came together for me weeks later when I saw a vision of a river (life) and instead of me flowing down it, I was continually ramming my ‘ship’ against a massive boulder that was near the side of the river. Life wasn’t throwing me against that boulder, I was doing it – I was in my own way. Life wasn’t doing this to me, I was. By staying in my own way and blaming life or others, I remained stuck and in victim mentality.
When things go “wrong” or they just keep going that way and you don’t seem to get a break – it’s easy to take on the attitude that life is against you - that you have to struggle and fight your way out. The thing is, it’s not and no you don’t. You can continue to struggle or stay in the victim mentality, but as Albert Einstein said, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is insanity. When things aren’t going very smoothly – that’s life’s way of getting your attention that you need to look at what’s really going on. For example, if you have an issue with people walking all over you after you help them, you need to take a look at your own boundaries. You can’t control other people, but you can set and maintain your boundaries so it doesn’t happen.
Part of going with the flow of life is having a positive attitude. A dear friend recently told me the following Rumi quote that she’d heard on Oprah: “Live life as if everything is rigged in your favor.” What a cool statement! It’s so much better than “life is against me.” Because, at the end of the day, what we believe, we create. So, if your own ship is jammed up in the river, let go of the controls for a while and allow it to flow knowing that life is rigged in your favor and give heaps of gratitude for all of the blessings – big and small, good and bad - along the way. Life will always have turbulent parts, that's just life, but it’s up to you how you will sail through them.
Here's to taking back your ship! Love, Adrienne :)
I moved to Sedona, AZ to grow. More specifically, I was looking to reconnect with Source, my Soul and Mother Earth. I’d been growing more and more aware that I was so disconnected and I was tired of feeling miserable, of feeling dead inside. Had I known what was in store for me by making the decision to come out here, I probably would have never gone through with it.
My move to Sedona resulted in the loss of my savings and my business. I had to take out a very large personal loan just to complete my rental lease and eat – hence the loss of my financial freedom. Once the lease was up, I spent over a year without a place to live. I lost count of how many ‘moves’ I made. Some places I was able to rent for a month or two, some places a few weeks, some just a night. I even went back east to live with my family for a little while because I’d hit my limit. I lost my sense of security. Along the way, I also lost many friends and relationships. My life was seriously falling apart – yet my Guides gave me the message that it was falling together.
You see, I had to lose my business so that I would have to take a retail job which was the platform for me opening up to and trusting my intuition and other gifts. I had to lose my financial security because I had to learn how to accept help from others. I’d give you the shirt off of my back, but I’d rather deal with my own struggles myself. Guess what? That's not the way life works. One day, I was so frustrated that I angrily demanded to be told why I had no money and my Guides replied, "because if you did – you would travel." Touché They know me so well. My loss of sense of security has been a lesson to watch what I think, say and manifest. It has also been a lesson to learn to trust myself and the Universe – something I’m still working on. The loss of friends and certain relationships have forced me to really look inside and accept myself for who I am while also learning to accept them for who they are. I am on my journey, they are on theirs. All of my loss has also been my gain.
Sedona has been one heck of a training ground. I am still learning and growing. I’m releasing my confinements of others' beliefs of who I should be or what I should be doing. This brings me to this last quote, which in my eyes sums it up perfectly:
Grow and BE my friends, grow and BE. Love, Adrienne :)
Perhaps one of our greatest faults as human beings is that we are so judgmental. We are judgmental of people we know and of people we don't know. We judge people on their skin color, religious belief, political view or sexual preference. We judge people by what they wear, how they speak or by their actions. We judge those who judge us. We even have a name (or two) for judgmental people... Judgy McJudgerson. I've been asking myself, why do we feel the need to judge? What drives us to do so? I know I'm just as guilty as anyone else. It can be a hard habit to break. Why do we feel the need to judge any one person let alone an entire group of people? And why are we sometimes so judgmental of ourselves?
I don't have all the answers as to what pushes us to judge, but I do believe that when we judge others we're looking at certain traits and how they don't apply to our belief systems or we're responding to some inadequacy that we feel in ourselves. I think we judge others to feel better about ourselves or it is induced due to some kind of fear that we hold. The world would be a much better place if we tried to understand or accept each other rather than put each other down. You hurt my feelings, I hurt yours and the cycle continues - until you stop it.
So, how do we pull back from being so judgmental? That is also a good question. Here are a few things that I've been trying to do:
1. Catch yourself when you're judging others.
I make a conscious decision to try to take notice when I find myself judging someone.
2. Ask yourself 'why?'
I ask myself why I'm judging someone and what is that telling me about me?
3. Know the story/know the person.
It's easy to judge, but until you've walked in someone's shoes… Whatever you're critiquing - they are still a person, just like you. They may act a certain way and it may irritate you, but it's their life - not yours. I try to remind myself that I don't know their whole story.
4. Instead of sending them negativity, send them love.
I tend to use the Ho'oponopono: "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you." I recite this in my head while trying to feel it in my heart and I try to send them love - some people are easier than others. Something that recently came through that I'm also trying is "I see the beauty in you. I see the beauty in me." Instead of looking at the negative, look for the beauty. For some, it may be buried deep, but it is there. All of us come from Source. All of us come from Love. We are reflections of and for each other.
5. If you're judging yourself - stop. Use the Ho'oponopono. Replace your judgment with a positive. Tearing yourself down does not work. Instead, try building yourself up. If you feel others are judging you, remind yourself that it's none of your business what others think of you - it only matters what you think of you. I've noticed that when people are being judgmental of me or of what I do - it's reflecting my own insecurities. As I'm peeling away the layers and getting to know myself and accepting who I am, I'm not as bothered by what other people think. I don't take it as personally as I have in the past.
If you have any input on why we are judgmental or how we can amend that, I would love to hear it. Feel free to comment below.
Love, Light and Hugs to you all - Adrienne :)
I saw this video a few days ago and it really got me thinking, why do we push the 'pink is for girls,' 'blue is for boys' gambit? As a child, I played with dolls and barbies, but I also played with Lincoln Logs, Hot Wheels and Legos. I actually find it disturbing that Lincoln Logs now come in pink - supposedly geared towards girls. Some girls really like pink, so they'll dig those Lincoln Logs. Personally, I would have hated them. Why are we so set on defining kids by pink and blue? Walk into any store that sells toys, you have the pink aisles and the rough and tumble aisles. I know many little girls who love to play with action figures and Star Wars lightsabers and I know of many little boys who enjoy playing house and "cooking" in the kitchen. To them, it's perfectly natural until we, the adults, tell them otherwise. Why are parents so freaked out if their little boy wants to play with a doll? Corporations have not only done a good job segregating girls and boys toys, they've managed to convince us it's necessary. Perhaps, instead of giving your little girl a pink sand bucket or your little boy a blue one, ask them what color they'd like. Shouldn't that be what it's really about? Allowing them to pursue any toy or activity without defining it as "that's for girls" or "that's for boys." Isn't it about time to honor both the masculine and the feminine that we all carry inside of us? - Adrienne :)
Hello! I'm Adrienne Almamour, an empathic intuitive conduit. I assist people by detecting and clearing their subconscious emotional energy blockages. This blog is a commentary and reflection of life from an intuitive standpoint which also incorporates ways that allow us to be from our heart.