I recently heard the saying: "We can either allow something to destroy us, define us or strengthen us." I get the point that's trying to be made - we should persevere by allowing our traumas, trials and tribulations to strengthen us instead of staying stuck in them. As I usually do, I thought about the quote to see how it applies to my life. I realized that all of the hardest experiences I've been through have in some way destroyed me, re-defined me and strengthened me.
My confidence has been shattered, my trust in people became nearly nonexistent, my fears have maintained me in a chokehold, I have felt rejection at every level of my being, I have felt worthless and yes, my heart has been broken - multiple times. I have been abandoned, I have been put down, I have been misunderstood, I have been ignored and I have been defined as someone I am not. All of this has come about through different circumstances throughout my life.
I have felt utterly destroyed. Yet, I realized that it was the false parts of myself that needed to die off. I have had to dig deep to find the healing and compassion that is innately me. I have had to stop looking outside of myself for something I've had inside all along. My happiness is internal. My love is internal. My confidence is internal. It's not out there or in someone else. It's like the Phoenix rising from the ashes - I was destroyed and through that destruction, I was renewed.
For as long as I can remember, I've fought against the confines that I'd been placed in by myself or others. I was in an imaginary prison of who I was supposed to be and how I was supposed to behave and act. If I wasn't a certain way, how would so and so love me? I have learned that I can re-define myself - that I am not how others define me or even how I define myself - especially if it is contrary to the True Essence of who I really am. I do not have to live up to the expectations that others hold in order for me to be loved. I am loved because I AM.
All of the hard times in my life have absolutely strengthened me. That's what the hard times are for. They are meant to grab our attention to make the necessary changes our Soul needs to grow. It's during these hard times when our hearts must be more expansive than ever. The ego may want to wallow, play the victim or the coward, yet we must take ownership of who we really are - an Essence of the Divine who is innately love and compassion. That's who I am, that's who you are, that's who the person who hurt you is - we just keep forgetting or are completely disconnected from that Truth.
The events that occur in our lives can hurt us profoundly as well as introduce us to a pain we never knew possible. Be compassionate with yourself. Work to open your heart instead of the knee-jerk reaction of shutting it down. Let go of the emotions, thoughts and beliefs that hold you back. When life knocks you down - let it destroy you. Let it destroy all of the false aspects of you that no longer serve you. Let it define you - by re-defining YOU. Your ego may feel like it took a huge hit, but your Soul remains undamaged. You are your Soul, not your ego. And yes, let it strengthen you. We grow from every experience we have - in small ways or by leaps and bounds. When life knocks you down, take the time to acknowledge where you're at and how you're feeling. Take the time you need to heal and forgive. When you're ready, dust yourself off and stand back up - preferably with your heart more full of compassion and love.
Love, Adrienne :)
Hello! I'm Adrienne Almamour, an empathic intuitive conduit. I assist people by detecting and clearing their subconscious emotional energy blockages. This blog is a commentary and reflection of life from an intuitive standpoint which also incorporates ways that allow us to be from our heart.